Article updated on May 31, 2023.
Living in a shared accommodation is an experience that offers numerous advantages. A lifestyle favored by young people and especially students who have just left their family, shared apartment allows you to meet new people, share a nice and large living space, all for a rent that beats all competition. Although shared accommodation may seem idyllic on paper, but things may not always go as planned. You could face some Tensions and animosities can emerge over time. With clashing personalities, different lifestyles and habits, it can sometimes be difficult to find the perfect roommate, one with whom you will get along perfectly.
Don’t worry, every problem has a solution. Just because a conflit arises with one of your roommates doesn’t mean that the friendship and understanding will be shattered forever. Sometimes, a little common sense and effort are all that’s needed for your shared accommodation to regain its original harmony (or follow our 10 tips for a long lasting accommodation). Discover our 5 tips to listen to each other, talk and most importantly, overcome these problems together.
Ready? Go!
Talk with your roommate
Not everybody thinks the same way. A first argument can appear and it doesn’t take more for you and your roommate to no longer be able to stand each other! The best way to resolve this tension? Communicate.
There is nothing more effective than talking to each other to resolve the unspoken issues and problems you may encounter in the shared living situation. Don’t hesitate to take some time alone with the roommate who may have upset you. Address the points of disagreement. Speak calmly and composedly and be mindful of the words used. Also try to make concessions.
Listen to each other. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of talking about it one-on-one, why not turn it into a game to see things differently?
Make compromises
Living in a shared housing situation places tolerance at the heart of your relationship with others. Making compromises is a logical follow-up to the discussions you will have had with your roommate.
Are your possible points of disagreement based on a particular subject? You can avoid discussing the topics that upset. The problem rather comes from your different ways of living? Your roommate is a night owl while you, on the other hand, are quite the opposite? Try to reach an agreement on schedules.
Finally, if what bothers your roommate are your habits and quirks, try to be more relaxed. There are always solutions. 😉
Establish rules
If you rather like these compromises to be partially highlighted for the whole shared accommodation, there’s nothing better than setting rules. Displayed on the fridge, on the front door, or in another place in sight of all, they will help you bring order to the shared apartment.
They are indeed essential for you to be able to live together.
Be financially fair
One of the major and recurring problems in life and even more so in shared living, is indeed money. In a majority of shared living situations, the lease agreement is shared among all roommates.
You are therefore liable to each other, if one of you were to leave the shared living situation. But it doesn’t stop there.
You will likely have food or cleaning expenses to share. To avoid exacerbating things, we recommend you divide your expenses into the same account or the same app. You can use Tricount, which calculates each person’s expenses and restores equity among all roommates.
Part ways
The rental contract, certain conditions will have to be met. However, if you have signed individual leases, in this case, it’s much simpler. Each of you is considered as individual tenants, and your departure has no impact on the remaining roommates. Take the initiative and inform your landlord.
Learn more about the different ways to terminate a shared living lease.
Discover coliving, the ideal solution
A simple and practical solution exists: coliving.
To summarize coliving in a few words, it’s a blend between shared living and a hotel. This new real estate concept emerged in the early 2000s in the United States. Like in shared living, the principle is to share the same apartment (or house) with several people you do not know.
You will find common spaces, like the kitchen and the bathroom, as well as private and secure spaces: the bedrooms. These are only accessible by their tenant, who is considered an individual tenant. It’s somewhat like renting your own studio within a large apartment. You maintain your independence while cohabiting with other tenants.
If this situation occurred while you are in a coliving housing, it would be much simpler for you to leave peacefully. Indeed, as you do not know the people with whom you share your apartment, you have no fear of losing your friends. Moreover, unlike in shared living, leases are often individual. Thus, you are not tied to the other tenants. You can come and go as you please and change cities in just a few days. This also has a positive impact on your finances and those of your co-livers. As you are not financially linked on the rental contract, none of you will have to pay the share of the one who was leaving his or her room. And this avoids a lot of problems.
