For financial or practical reasons, shared housing is increasingly favored by young professionals and students. While it’s usually the choice for singles or those living alone, it’s not exclusive to them. If you’re in a relationship, you too can fit into a shared living situation!
This article will help you navigate the benefits of shared living, and the potential challenges you might face. From community living rules to understand your rights based on your civil and marital status, the differences between living as a couple in shared housing and cohabitation, managing living spaces, and more: you’ll gain a comprehensive understanding of what it means to share a home while in a relationship. Let’s dive in!
Why choosing shared housing as a couple?
Increasing numbers of couples choose to live in shared housing, and it’s not just for the financial perks. Of course, it’s often more comfortable for a couple to live in a shared house than a regular rental. The couple gets more space for a rent that’s significantly less than if they had their own place. But finances aren’t the only reason.
The initial stages of living together for a young couple can be challenging. With the hustle of life, studies, internships, starting a business, routine, etc., these can create stress that might strain the relationship. Living daily with others allows for shared experiences and a constantly warm atmosphere. This can make the present moment so much more enjoyable.
Differences Between Shared Housing for Couples and Cohabitation
There’s a distinction between living as a couple in shared housing and cohabitation. As emphasized by the CAF, shared housing involves “co-signing the same lease or multiple leases by people living in the same housing but forming separate households.” Cohabitation, on the other hand, is “living together as if [the individuals] were married or in a civil partnership. It entails sharing a home and financially or materially contributing to household expenses.“
Legally speaking, living as a couple in shared housing is akin to standard shared living arrangements and offers no special status. Each tenant should have a separate rent receipt under their name. If they wish to apply for housing assistance, they must individually apply to the CAF, declaring their personal incomes and their portion of the rent. Cohabitation, on the other hand, has recognized legal status, even though it’s not the same as a civil partnership or marriage. It’s considered for certain facets, like joint tax filing or the allocation of certain social rights. If the cohabitation ends for whatever reason, there could be legal consequences, especially if assets were jointly purchased.
Benefits of shared housing for couples
Opting for shared housing when in a relationship has a plethora of enticing advantages.
Sure, the most prominent benefit is financial. Sharing a home reduces costs and gives access to better quality accommodations. Enjoy spacious, prime locations. But, as you’ve gathered, it’s not all about the money. Being in shared housing as a couple also means forming new social connections. If you’ve recently moved to an unfamiliar city or country, you can instantly connect with other tenants, explore the city with them, learn about their cultures, and expand your social circle.
Living with others provides practical assistance and shared daily responsibilities. As everyone knows, chores and shopping take time. In shared housing, it’s not always up to you or your partner to handle them. Depending on the house rules, tasks rotate, lightening everyone’s mental load and fostering daily support.
You might not consider it, but shared housing can be a genuine opportunity. It can promote discussions on various topics, enhance your cultural awareness, develop your skills, and perhaps even expand your professional network.
For those who’ve never lived together, shared housing can be an excellent first step. It teaches cohabitation and helps tackle the challenges of shared life, all while having external support.
Challenges of couple roommating
Sure, couple roommating has its upsides, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges! It’s essential to understand that while sharing a living space with your partner in a shared housing setup might sound dreamy, it’s not always a fairy tale. If one half of the couple joins the shared house before the other, the dynamic could change. Existing roommates might feel intruded upon, leading to potential tensions.
Like all relationships, couples have their ups and downs. Disagreements are common, but it’s crucial to ensure these don’t sour the overall atmosphere of the shared home. The mood between the couple shouldn’t spill over and impact the other roommates. Thus, it’s always a good idea to discuss personal issues away from others and refrain from dragging them into personal disputes – especially if things head towards a breakup.
Another aspect to consider is the management of personal spaces. Carving out personal space can be tricky in a regular shared housing situation, let alone when a couple is part of the mix. While it’s essential to spend quality time together as a couple, remember that this housing setup might not always provide the perfect setting. It’s crucial neither to alienate other roommates nor to let the couple become isolated. Finding the right balance and rhythm can be a challenge, but communal moments are key.
Rules depending on the couple's status
Whether you’re roommating alone or as a couple, there are legal and social rules to be aware of. The rules change a bit when two people share a life together.
Rules for a married couple
If you’re married, you’ll likely sign a joint lease. This means you both are seen as co-lessees. According to French civil code Article 1751, “a residential lease belonging to a married couple is assumed to be equally held by both spouses”. In simpler terms, both spouses hold equal rights to the lease and share responsibilities tied to the lease (hello, solidarity clause!). In cases of conflicts or separation, the couple’s property rights are protected under family law.
On the social side, a married couple has its dynamics. However, each partner should be treated as an individual roommate, ensuring everyone’s on an equal footing. Communication is vital. It’s important for all roommates to understand each other’s needs and address everyday issues like privacy, noise, chores, and sharing responsibilities. This ensures a harmonious living environment. Naturally, these social rules apply to all types of couples 😉
Rules for a civil union couple
For couples in a civil union (PACS in French), the law is closely similar to married couples, with a few distinctions based on the lease agreement. If both partners sign the same lease, they’re seen as co-lessees and hold the same rights and responsibilities as married couples. However, if the lease is in only one partner’s name, only the signer is granted the associated rights. Nevertheless, the other partner remains jointly responsible for any breaches of the legal and social obligations of the signer.
Rules for cohabiting couples
When it comes to cohabiting couples, two scenarios also arise. If both of you are listed on the rental contract, you’ll have the status of co-holders of the lease. Just like other roommates, you are responsible for paying the rent and utilities. Unlike married or civil union couples, cohabitants are not jointly liable for debts incurred by one of them, unless they were incurred jointly or for mutual needs (like buying furniture or appliances).
However, if only one of the cohabitants has signed the lease, the non-signatory has neither rights nor obligations. This can be problematic if the one listed on the lease were to pass away.
How to find the ideal shared living space as a couple?
You might guess, this isn’t necessarily the easiest step. Several criteria and mutual priorities will need to be defined. While essential, it can be time-consuming and cause many headaches. If you don’t know where to start, we’ll help:
- Location
Is living in a quiet neighborhood important to you? Would you rather be close to entertainment and activity centers? How long are you willing to commute to work or school? These questions are a priority as they’ll help you choose the location best suited to your situation. They also determine the next criterion: budget.
- Budget
Once you have a location in mind, make sure it matches the budget you’ve set. Don’t forget to include not just the rent, but also utilities (water, electricity, internet). Consider hidden costs that might increase the total, like agency fees or security deposits.
- Housing
Apartment or house? Ground floor or 10th floor? Shared or private bathroom? Some might find these questions superficial, but they matter. Ensure the place meets your expectations and provides enough space for moments together.
- Type of Roommate
Night owl or early bird? Introvert or extrovert? Only other couples, or are you open to living with singles? Determine the type of roommates you’ll have, as compatibility is crucial.
Both of you should be on the same page regarding your preferences. Remember that finding your dream shared living space might not happen instantly. Be prepared to make compromises.
Many shared living arrangements are open to couples, but some might not be. If you want to live downtown in a modern apartment and be sure your couple will be welcomed, consider using Colivys! Specializing in coliving, a shared housing variant, you’re sure to meet all your criteria in one apartment.
Managing a breakup in shared living
It’s a very delicate situation that unfortunately can happen. If it were to occur, we’d like you to be prepared, and your roommates as well.
Make sure to inform them as soon as you and your partner have decided to end your relationship. This will allow them to understand and anticipate any upcoming changes. Also, discuss with your boyfriend/girlfriend how you will manage the separation within the shared housing. Will both of you stay in the residence? Will both of you leave? If it’s unclear, consider whose name is on the lease. This will make it easier to determine who will stay. If you are married and both names are on the lease, neither of you can force the other to leave or break the contract. Also, evaluate your financial obligations (rent, utilities, and other expenses). Indeed, you’re liable for them until the end of the lease.
Once you’ve addressed the practical aspects, can you see yourself still living under the same roof? If you have no other option, establish clear boundaries regarding private spaces and shared items. Ensure that the dynamics of the shared living space are preserved by minimizing the impact of your separation. Avoid arguing in front of them or establish new house rules. Lastly, think about everyone’s well-being!
Maintaining a healthy relationship in shared living
As you’ve come to understand: living as a couple in a shared living situation is an incredibly enriching experience. It’s crucial to continue nurturing your relationship to prevent it from fading over time. Don’t hesitate to take time away from the shared space, just the two of you. Schedule regular dates, movie nights, or outings to your favorite restaurant. Your roommates will likely be more than willing to give you the apartment for the evening, so just ask them! It doesn’t hurt.
Communication is key. Remember that. Interactions can be skewed when living with others, as viewpoints may differ. Therefore, openly discuss your feelings and the necessary compromises to ensure harmonious cohabitation. Don’t forget the little daily gestures: a kind note, preparing breakfast, or lighting some candles (though be careful not to start a fire in the house).
Lastly, keep in mind that choosing to live in a shared living situation as a couple is a significant decision. Make sure to consider our various tips and the legal rules to make this journey even more memorable.
